In this episode companion, I explore what it means to become the next version of yourself with faith, courage, and a more honest relationship to identity.
Quick answer
What I want you to know
Becoming her requires more than ambition. I use this conversation to explore how faith, identity, courage, and self-trust help women leaders evolve without abandoning the parts of themselves that matter most.
- Let identity evolve without treating change as failure.
- Use faith and self-trust as grounding practices.
- Choose courage in small visible decisions.
FAQ
Questions I hear from women lawyers
Who is this article for?
I wrote this for women lawyers, new partners, equity partner candidates, and executive women in law who want high performance without chronic depletion.
What is the practical takeaway?
Let identity evolve without treating change as failure. Then choose one small behavior you can practice in the workweek you actually have.
How do I use this in my leadership?
Use the article as a diagnostic. Notice the pattern, name the cost, and choose one visible leadership behavior that protects capacity without lowering standards.
Identity evolution guide
A practical framework for becoming the next version of yourself
Evolving does not always feel like a confident leap. Often it feels like outgrowing a version of yourself that once protected you, while learning to trust a quieter signal about what comes next.
Strategy 1: Name what no longer fits
Growth often begins with honest discomfort. The role, label, pace, or identity that once worked may now feel too small, even if it still looks impressive from the outside.
You keep achieving the goals you set years ago, but the fulfillment is not matching the accomplishment.
Write one sentence that starts with: 'This used to fit, but now...'
Strategy 2: Discern before you announce
Not every internal shift needs an immediate external declaration. Give yourself room to listen before turning the change into a public plan.
You feel called toward a new direction but wait to make a sweeping announcement until you have tested the desire in small ways.
Choose one private experiment that lets you listen without pressure.
Strategy 3: Let courage be behavioral
Courage is rarely a feeling you wait for. It becomes visible through a small action taken while uncertainty is still present.
You ask for the conversation, submit the idea, or decline the misaligned opportunity before you feel fully ready.
Take one small action this week that your future self would recognize.
Strategy 4: Keep the parts of you that are still true
Becoming someone new does not require rejecting everything you were. Some strengths come with you; they simply need a new expression.
The discipline that once fueled overwork becomes the discipline to protect the life you are building.
Name one old strength you want to keep, and one old pattern you are ready to release.
Where to Start This Week
| If this is the pattern | Start here |
|---|---|
| You feel restless but unclear | Name what no longer fits. |
| You want certainty first | Run a private experiment. |
| You are waiting to feel brave | Make courage behavioral. |
| You fear losing yourself | Keep the strength, release the old pattern. |
Final Thought
You do not need a total life overhaul to begin. Start with one specific behavior, one clearer decision, or one protected condition. Sustainable high performance is built when your ambition has a structure that can actually support it.
In this heartfelt conversation, Simone and I explore the seasons that stretch us: moments of doubt, reinvention, surrender, and stepping away from expectations that no longer fit.
Why this conversation matters
This episode moves beyond surface-level success and into the inner work of becoming. It is about shedding labels, healing old narratives, and understanding that growth often requires letting go before stepping forward.
You will learn
- Why personal evolution can feel lonely before it feels liberating.
- How faith and discernment can guide major life transitions.
- The difference between external success and internal alignment.
- Why obedience to your calling requires courage.
- How to release identities that no longer serve you.
- The role of community and mentorship during seasons of change.
This episode is especially for
- Women navigating identity shifts and life transitions.
- Leaders seeking deeper alignment beyond achievement.
- High achievers learning to trust a season of reinvention.
Reflection prompts
- What identity has served you but may no longer fit?
- Where are you being invited to release control?
- What would courage look like in this season of becoming?
Jump to a moment
Mentioned in this episode
International speaker, author, and creator of the REAL Method.
FrameworkThe REAL MethodSimone's approach to building authentic confidence from the inside out.
Work with mePrivate executive coachingOne-on-one support for women lawyers and leaders navigating reinvention.
Read nextYour Time to RiseArivee's book on leading and living with intention and self-trust.
Episode transcriptRead transcript
Arivee: Simone, I want to start where so many women get stuck. We outgrow a version of ourselves, and instead of celebrating it, we panic. Why does becoming feel so much like losing?
Simone: Because we confuse the identity with the person. The role you played got you here, and there's grief in setting it down, even when it no longer fits. Faith, for me, is what makes that grief survivable.
Arivee: Say more about courage, because people imagine it as this big, loud decision.
Simone: Courage isn't loud. Most of the time it's a quiet yes to the next right thing, made before you feel ready.
Excerpt shown. Full transcript available on the episode page.
About the author
Arivee Vargas
Arivee Vargas is a first-generation Latina lawyer who moved from Big Law litigation into in-house corporate leadership before building her executive coaching and leadership strategy business. She is an award-winning executive and High Performance coach, speaker, author of Your Time to Rise, and host of The Humble Rising Podcast. With nearly 20 years across law, leadership, compliance, employee relations, and coaching, she helps ambitious lawyers and corporate leaders build clarity, confidence, boundaries, and sustainable high performance from the inside out.
More about Arivee
